


Remembering Deceit

by sympathetic_deceit_trash



Series: Arson's Sanders Sides Fics [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Deceit | Janus Sanders Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, No one's unsympathetic i am trying to go mostly for canon with how they interact, Remus is a sweetheart, Temporary Amnesia, even if he doesn't know it, i can't stress how i swear the light sides aren't unsympathetic, i'm a sucker for dukeceit, janus doesn't remember much but he knows remus is good, janus is still sad about virgil leaving, the light sides with the (mostly) exception of logan are dicks are first, the others are baffled, they will get better, they're just......misguided
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28451544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sympathetic_deceit_trash/pseuds/sympathetic_deceit_trash
Summary: He sat up, lifting a hand to his head when it throbbed and mumbling something incoherent when he felt bandages there. Glancing around, he found the lack of familiarity odd. The walls were cream in color and littered with photographs of people and colorful artworks, both of which were currently blurry to him, and fairy lights were strewn around the top of the walls. The room was warm in feeling, in emotions. He decided he’d prefer it to be warm in temperature and pulled the fuzzy brown blanket on his lower half up more, pulling it around his torso.-Janus gets injured and remembers very little. The light sides aren't sure what to do, but Remus is just happy they're still friends despite it all.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Arson's Sanders Sides Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2115789
Comments: 21
Kudos: 99





	1. Quite the Introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> J- D- Someone wakes up, and wishes it was warmer.

When he woke up, the first thing he thought was ‘why the hell is it so bright?’

The second thing he thought, after looking away from the blinding light above him and blinking the spots from his eyes, was a very clear ‘it’s too cold.’

He sat up, lifting a hand to his head when it throbbed something awful and mumbling something incoherent when he felt bandages there. Glancing around, he found the lack of familiarity odd. The walls were cream in color and littered with photographs of people and colorful artworks, both of which were currently blurry to him, and fairy lights were strewn around the top of the walls. The room was warm in feeling, in  _ emotions _ . He decided he’d prefer it to be warm in temperature and pulled the fuzzy brown blanket on his lower half up more, pulling it around his torso.

His head ached again at the action, so he wiggled in the soft, plush bed and laid in a more comfortable position. Just as he was shutting his eyes, the door of the room opened, and he heard voices.

“-his fault, not mine! He owns part of the Imagination, too, you know, and it was his part that our resident snake was injured in!” Someone was loudly saying. He winced, the volume doing nothing good for his poor head. He wondered what the hell this guy was talking about, and why his voice made him tense.

“For the last time, we kno- oh my gosh,” Another voice abruptly cut himself off with a gasp. He cracked open an eye lazily, eyeing the interrupting intruders finally. There was a man who was soft around the edges in all senses of the phrase, big, round glasses sitting on his rosy cheeked, freckled face. A hoodie of sorts was tied around his shoulders over a blue polo, half heartedly tucked into khaki shorts and mismatched, brightly colored socks. On top of it all, the intruder had the fluffiest, most sickeningly cute gray kitten slippers he’d ever seen.

He had no idea why, but this man, too, set off alarm bells in his hazy mind, setting him on edge much like the other man had when he spoke. Thoughts of  _ unfair cruel hypocrite judgemental misguided selfless moral  _ flooded him.

Oh, right, the other man.

This man was taller than the softer one, broad shoulders and a somewhat ridiculous yet somehow respectable prince outfit on, complete with black, knee high boots and a sword of some kind sheathed on his hip, with one hand casually resting on the hilt. He held himself differently, chest puffed out and back straight, standing his ground and ready to jump into action at any moment. 

Seeing him brought on a flurry of  _ prince unsafe sword angry stupid gullible helpful insecure  _ and he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.

The prince was eyeing him like he was a criminal that couldn’t be trusted, but that was stupid, he was just-

He was...he was just…

Just what?

His eyes opened fully as the question finally came to him.

He was...what? Who was he?  _ Where  _ was he?

“You’re awake,” the one in blue said stupidly. How helpful. He went to tell him exactly how helpful that was before catching the glare of the other one and decidedly didn’t do that, not wanting to risk pissing off the guy with the _sword._

“So it would seem.” The prince agreed coldly, a frown tugging at his lips.

So he just nodded slightly, sitting up--slower this time, so as not to hurt his head again--and sweeping his gaze around the room once more.

“This...is not my room, is it?” He murmured, spotting the white and red and gold of the prince’s suit and the blue and gray and brown of the soft one’s outfit in a few of the photos.

“You don’t say.” The prince snorted but the other just seemed tilted his head a bit with thinly veiled annoyance.

“Of course not, kiddo.” He said slowly, like the person he was speaking to was stupid. “It’s mine.”

Yes, that made sense. Both the room and this stranger had a sort of softness and warmth to them.

Before he could think better of it, he raised an eyebrow at the two.

“And you are…?”

The prince snickered this time, and the soft one’s annoyance visibly grew.

“Look, Deceit,” who? “I’m really not in the mood for one of your tricks right now-” tricks? “-so I’d  _ appreciate  _ it if you could-”

“Sorry to interrupt, but would you mind telling me why I was addressed as Deceit and why you seem to know me while I have no idea who you are?” He asked bluntly, growing a tad annoyed himself.

The prince didn’t find that amusing.

Said prince walked forward, and then there was the sharp sound of a blade slicing through the air, and then the business end of a sword--a katana was odd considering the wardrobe but a weapon is a weapon--was being pointed directly at him. His heart leapt into his throat and, for a moment, he thought he genuinely might die by this strange man’s blade.

“Enough of your games, Deceit, you stop this foolishness right now or I shall slay you like the foul beast you are!” He announced. He--Deceit? The only felt partly correct--blinked up at the prince.

“Was that a threat?” He gaped, looking past the blade to the softer man in disbelief. The stranger didn’t seem to care that he’d just been threatened.

At that response, the prince seemed...confused. The sword was lowered.

“Of course it was...you typically have some sort of, ah, witty response! And then you go ‘until next time, princey’ and sometimes do an evil laugh as you leave mysteriously and threateningly.” The prince explained, eyeing him with newfound curiosity.

His brow furrowed in bewilderment.

“That...just sounds utterly ridiculous. I don’t even know who you are, why would I-”

“Oh,” the soft one said weakly, “your head injury was worse than we thought. Come on, kiddo, let’s go get Lo.” The prince sheathed his sword, looking to his companion.

“That’d probably be a good idea.” He agreed.

Deceit--still didn’t feel quite right--frowned.

“Wait-” He called too late, the door shutting behind the strange pair.

Wonderful, just wonderful.

Well, at least he had something to refer to himself as, even if it felt slightly off.

“Deceit. I’m Deceit.” He said quietly, to no one in particular.

With a sigh, he laid back in the bed and settled to simply wait for them to return with this “Lo.”

  
  
  



	2. Safe at Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit doesn't feel very safe with these people.

The good news: Deceit could walk and had very few injuries aside from some scrapes, scratches, and light bruising.

The bad news: his head had sustained a nasty hit and now he apparently had amnesia.

At least that’s what Logan (the mysterious “Lo” mentioned a few hours earlier) had said. Deceit preferred Logan’s company, he decided. His presence didn’t bring upon the tenseness the others’ had, just a slight stiffness and awkwardness and thoughts of  _ neutral smart serious okay listens repress  _ which was the best he’d had so far. He didn’t feel... _ safe _ , perse--he’d noticed he felt safe around exactly none of them--but he didn’t feel unsafe, in danger, anything like that.

Patton and Roman, as he’d found their names were, didn’t exactly help with their faux warm welcomes. All fake smiles and poorly concealed bitterness. 

At least Virgil-- _ sorry regret anger betrayal hurt anxious sorry sorry mistake-- _ was very open about his dislike of him, constantly reminding him just how much he wasn’t wanted on this side of the mindscape.

(When that had first been mentioned, Deceit had rather bluntly questioned why there were sides to the mindscape in the first place. He’d received 2 glares, a nervous laugh, and a subtle hum of approval at the question in response. Then the subject was quickly dropped and changed.)

Something was missing, but Deceit had no idea what. But something felt so off, so  _ empty _ .

Was there another side?

Based on how he felt around the ones he knew of, he wasn’t sure why there being another one that he hadn’t met would make much of a difference.

He asked anyway.

“Is...there someone else I haven’t met yet?” He asked at breakfast the morning after the whole ‘amnesia’ discovery. For some reason, sitting at the kitchen table with the others felt wrong and off. It very well might have been Virgil giving him a nasty glare and Roman decidedly ignoring him. He felt strangely used to that, though, and it made him uneasy.

Roman and Patton exchanged looks at his question, Logan sighed slightly, and Virgil’s lip curled.

“Well- well there’s the figments, like Remy, he’s sleep-” Patton tried but Deceit furrowed his brow and shook his head.

“Isn’t there another  _ side _ ?” He pressed. Roman clenched his jaw, Patton wrung his wrists, Logan picked at his food, and Virgil was giving him a look that could kill if he kept receiving it.

“Yes,” Roman gritted out reluctantly, looking as if admitting so pained him--which pissed Deceit off for reasons he didn’t know--and balling up his fists, “there is.” 

“Why haven’t I met him?” Deceit demanded.

“I don’t think you should be seeing him, with your current, um, injured state. He’s...a lot.” Patton tried. Deceit noticed he was very bad at concealing his emotions, considering he was smiling but Deceit could see the disgust and uncomfortableness in his eyes clear as day.

“What?”

“He’s gross and lewd and uncontrollable, and a fucking creep.” Virgil spat. Logan frowned but said nothing.

Deceit felt anger swell in his chest, wanting to defend this...person he didn’t know.

“Fuck you,” he snapped, instead, standing up abruptly, “I’m going to see him.” He snatched his cane from its place leaning against the nearby counter.

“Wait, Deceit, you don’t know how, um, unpleasant he-” Patton tried to not be outright insulting but Deceit only fumed more.

“Oh, could he possssibly be more unpleasssant than sssitting here, being glared at and ignored and getting the fakessst fucking ‘niccce’ attitude ever.” He hissed out, dragging out his S’s by accident.

With that, feeling smug at the shocked and offended looks worn by the others and the sigh Logan let out, he sunk out--when he remembered how to do that, he had no idea--and rose up in a dark, cold living room. He tugged his capelet around himself, looking around.

The couch was ratty and stained with things Deceit couldn’t identify, the TV screen had some cracks in it, and there were a few pictures strewn about the place, although the walls were mostly covered in strange artworks, both painted directly onto the walls and hung up as paintings. They were...beautiful, if a bit unique and sometimes gruesome.

This place felt like home to him and he felt warm despite the coldness of the place.

It must’ve been the other side of the mindscape.

“Hello?” He called out, feeling rather stupid for not asking the side’s name as he tightened his grip on his cane.

There was a loud crashing noise followed by the clang of several metal things hitting tile-- _ not again _ , he thought, although he didn’t remember what he was even referring to--and then footsteps.

Something black and green tackled him to the ground with a presumably happy squeal.

Deceit yelped.

“Jay!” The thing--the side?--exclaimed happily, seated on top of poor Deceit.

“Heavy,” Deceit said in response, shoving at the stranger.

“Oh right, right right right.” Just as suddenly, the weight was gone and Deceit found himself being yanked to his feet.

He stumbled, almost bumping into the side’s chest.

“Right.” Deceit repeated under his breath, then looked up and found his breath caught in his throat.

_ Warm safe love fun green sweet loud love dance creative help love protect friend laugh love. _

Oh, that was…

The side before him looked remarkably similar to Roman, although he had red eyes where the other had green, and a streak of white in his unkempt hair, and a mustache. His grin was unnaturally wide and full of sharp teeth, possibly too many, and he smelled something awful. He wore an outfit vaguely similar to Roman’s but more frilly and poofy, mostly being black with some green and the occasional silver. Pointy black boots with the most obnoxious shade of green as an accent topped it all off.

Despite everything about this side screaming ‘get away, this is too damn weird,’ Deceit couldn’t help the familiarity and comfort he brought, and he found himself awkwardly smiling.

“Ah...hello.”

The side bounced on his feet.

“What took you so long? I almost thought you lef-” his grin faltered and Deceit’s chest felt weighed down again, without the side even on him, “-I, uh, almost thought you hooked up with my brother or something.” He snorted instead. 

Deceit stared at him.

“Your brother?” He echoed. The stranger cocked his head but didn’t seem to demean him.

“My brother Roman? You know, the bastard prince?” He prompted. Deceit blinked.

“I didn’t know he had a brother,” was apparently the wrong thing to say, as the strange side recoiled and seemed offended.

“Of course you did!” He insisted.

Deceit shook his head.

“I-I’m sorry, I apparently have amnesia, I didn’t even recall my own name, the others had to tell me it.” He admitted, fidgeting with the edge of his capelet.

The other stared at him with an unnervingly unreadable expression, red eyes analyzing him. Deceit felt like he could see everything about him, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about being so open and see through to this side.

“What did they tell you?”

“My name is Deceit.” The other’s fists clenched for some reason at that. “And they...insulted you a bunch.” Deceit winced, hoping the other wouldn’t be hurt.

“Your  _ name _ ,” the side said, voice calm but dripping in anger, “is Janus.”


	3. Janus and Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit- no, Janus finds that it's easier with Remus.

“Oh.” Decei- Janus? Janus. Janus said, giving a light nod. The other side seemed satisfied at that response, although Janus--Janus, that was so right, it felt a lot better than Deceit--had a sneaking suspicion the others would be seeing the return of that anger at some point.

“So you...don’t remember me?” He asked, sounding a bit saddened. Janus decided rather easily that he didn’t like it when this side was sad. “At all?”

He shut his eyes, trying to remember anything about the other.

He remembered laughter, he remembered dancing around the room, he remembered being able to cry into a shoulder, he remembered being picked up when he was half asleep and put in a bed, he remembered being cuddled up to someone, he remembered sitting on the couch and watching someone paint.

It was weird and blurry and didn’t give much information, not even his name, but it was something.

Janus opened his eyes.

“I...remember you’re my best friend?” He tried. The other side visibly lit up and he squirmed in place before moving forward, placing his hands on Janus’ waist and lifting him up, spinning with him as he laughed.

“Damn right I am!” He exclaimed proudly. He was...proud? He was proud to be Janus’ best friend? “You  _ do  _ remember me!”

Janus couldn’t help the matching grin that took over his face.

“Don’t drop me!” He added somewhat nervously. Something told him his friend would never, but he clung to him anyway, reaching out and gripping his black top.

“Of course not, Jay.” The side set him down.

“Um, by the way,” Janus rubbed the back of his neck, “I don’t actually...know who you are.”

“Right!” He straightened his back, striking a pose. “I’m the duke! The other half of creativity!” He grinned. “My name is Remus, though.”

“Remus.” Janus said softly, trying the name out on his tongue.

“That’s me.” Remus puffed up his chest.

“It’s good to re-meet you.” Janus decided, smiling awkwardly. Remus smirked, snatching Janus’ hat and putting it on himself.

“I know.” He teased, flicking his nose. Janus scrunched up his nose in response but vaguely felt like this was a common occurrence. “Wait, if you don’t remember things, that means I can use all my old pranks on you!”

“P...pranks?” He squinted. Remus pouted at him.

“It’s weird seeing you be like this, though.” The duke complained, his posture slouching in disappointment.

“Like what?” Janus pressed. Remus grumbled, gesturing vaguely.

“Like  _ this _ !” He huffed, crossing his arms. “All weird and like, timid and quiet and- well, not boring, I don’t think you could ever bore me.” He snorted. Janus took that as the highest form of praise. He got the sense this one got bored rather easily.

“Th...thank you…?” He said, although it was almost a question.

Remus shrugged, straightening up again.

“You,” he twisted his face weirdly although Janus couldn’t figure out for the life of him what he was expressing outside of general displeasure, “you should probably go back soon. Wouldn’t want the light sides thinkin’ I killed you something.”

“Oh, I,” Janus soured and glared at the ground, “I doubt they’d care.”

He glanced up at the brief silence that followed and saw the tail end of Remus calming himself from being angry.

“They may...suck ass and they might make me want to skin them like potatoes and shove their own skins down their throats and watch them choke on it and hopefully puke it back up so I can do it again,” He growled.

“...but?” Janus prompted.

“Ha, butt.” Remus muttered, then shook his head. “ _ But _ , my brother at least isn’t totally the worst. Usually. He just has stupid  _ morals  _ and shit that he needs to get over.” Janus watched Remus pick at the threading of his sleeve. “That’s why he doesn’t talk to me as much. Or at all, any more. And why he says he hates me and that I’m...”   
  


Janus frowned, brow furrowing. He opened his mouth to say something but Remus interrupted with a dismissive wave of his arm.

“Nevermind, point is; he cares, he’s just a dumb ass.” He stated firmly. Janus eyed him, slowly nodding and deciding not to tell Remus his brother pointed a sword at him. 

“Okay.” He agreed. “Just…” Janus found himself hesitating. Remus was looking at him with a raised eyebrow and tilted head, eyes wide with interest and oh, Janus really wanted to kiss him. He figured Remus would have told him if they were dating, though, and he really didn’t want to confess when he barely remembered anything.

_ Eventually, _ he reasoned, _ I’ll definitely confess once I get my memory back. _

“I’m going to come back.” He said instead of ‘I love you.’ It meant the same and he felt like he needed to let him know that he wasn’t leaving for good, that he’d never leave him like- like someone might have left them? He didn’t remember. Remus’ gaze softened.

“I know.” He said with a wide grin. “I trust you.”

Janus instinctively took his hat off as he bowed, a smirk coming easily when Remus laughed at him, and then he sunk back out to the others.

When Janus rose up in the other portion of the mindscape, there was an argument currently going on, and he immediately missed Remus.

Logan was on the couch, scrolling through a tablet and trying very hard to ignore the arguing. Patton was attempting to stop the fighting and doing a very poor job of it. Virgil had his lip curled in a sneer, hands in his hoodie pockets and brow creased, an almost hiss in his voice. Roman...well, Janus took a moment to study the prince.

He had his arms crossed tightly over his chest and his face twisted in...something. Anger. Hurt. Both? Both seemed right. Listening in, Janus could very easily tell he was responding offensively as a defense. Something Virgil had said or did had hurt him already.

He sighed through his nose, put his hat back on, and walked over.

“That’s quite enough.” Janus said loudly and lazily, fighting off a snicker when the room went silent. “I leave for what, less than an hour and a fight breaks out? Miss me?” He wasn’t sure where exactly this sudden snark came from…

But he was relatively sure he liked it, and the others didn’t, so he was just dandy letting it reign free.


End file.
